Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Thoughts on 30 From Two Wise, Wise Sources

(thank you Celine Geiger for today's blog inspiration)

Thursday is my 1/2 birthday, specifically the last 1/2 birthday before I turn 30. So six months from this Thursday, my 20s will be over.

Thank god it'll be in the 70s and sunny when this will happens upon me. 

I am working on figuring out my feelings about this fairly momentous milestone, but in the meantime I wanted to share the thoughts of one 30-something and one mid 20-something on what turning the big 3-0 A. feels like and B. means.

The chain starts with a post from blogger Citizen Kerry (who is roughly 35) called 10 Reasons You Could Not Pay Me To Be 20 Again, If That Were Somehow Possible.  It's an awesome post in and of itself (Her number 1 reason: "I have hobbies besides drama" - hahaha), but what really resonated with me was actually a comment to CK's post from a blogger named Young Manhattanite.

YM writes:

"Krucoff told me I’m supposed to write an actual thing in response to this, probably because he didn’t know I was 25 until like a week ago, but all I’ve got is that it really bums me out that it’s generally accepted that people in their 20s don’t know, or don’t know how, to set boundaries. 

I mean it’s a hard lesson and a long road and I’d say sure, there are plenty of people in their 20s who don’t know how to set boundaries, just as there are people of all ages who couldn’t say “no” to save their own lives — and just as sure, I’d say the proportion of people who know to set boundaries in their 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s gets higher as you go than people in their 20s, because if you’re doing it right you’re learning a thing or two as you grow up — but the presumption that because any one person feels like they didn’t know their ass from their elbow when they were a kid — which is unfortunately the standard format of this kind of advice — doesn’t mean plenty of people at any age don’t know how to (sic) IRN;T with the best of them. 

Every single thing on this (wise!) blog post [from Citizen Kerry] falls under the category of setting and respecting appropriate boundaries. Do things that make you feel good, instead of things that make you feel bad. Listen to yourself, forgive yourself, be kind to your body and your spirit. Spend time with people who you want to spend time with instead of people you don’t, even if the people you don’t want to spend time with seem really really cool — some relationships are toxic even if there’s nothing at all wrong with any individual participant. Forgive others. Pay attention. Frankly my teenage sister has got every one of these down pat, and has since high school. She’s ahead of just about everyone I know."

What I liked about this comment from a not-yet-30-year-old is that it makes me realize some people feel 30-ish at 25. I think that's because I view 30 as corresponding with maturity, but maturity isn't an age thing. I was pretty mature around, say, 27, so what's really the difference between that and 30? What does 30 really mean as a milestone at all?

I like that YM is bummed about people hating on people in their 20s, and I like that CK hates on some of her own 20-something behavior and is thrilled to be in her 30s.

...Which means I'm even further away from understanding how I feel about these next six months than I thought, huh?

Stay-tuned for Thursday's unlikely revelations. 

1 comment:

  1. I agree that there is a range of 20-something behavior. I personally was out on my own at 21 (by choice), working & in school full time and financially responsible for myself; the emotional side of it was wayyy behind though (social, relationships, self-esteem).