Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Advice for Occupy Wall Street: make love + equality

I know that this is not cool to say.

I know that the Occupy Wall Street (et al) movement is a serious thing rooted in a real issue facing our country and so many others. I really do believe in the movement, the gravity of the issue at hand and the powerful manner in which the protesters have decided to go about their campaign.

Honestly if I knew how to get to wherever Occupy L.A. is happening I'd go down there with some packets of Emergen-C to show my support.

Which is why I feel bad writing a blog post about the fact that these Occupy Wall Street people (and their counter parts around the world) better be making some love connections.

Listen, times are tough. It's not so easy to find a group of like-minded and like-committed people without the use of an Internet aid. And even so, how much time do you have with those people once you meet? 15 minutes at a bar? An hour at an industry event? Maybe a weekend if you meet at the wedding of a friend that only invited people who all meet a very specific set of personality and life-goal qualifications?

This Occupy Wall Street situation is like mining for relationship gold in an actual gold quarry.

You've got people so like-minded that they've committed to living in parks and communicating through a "human megaphone." You've got a fairly consistent age range and, even where there isn't, people open-minded enough to not care. Most people there are either unemployed or not particularly into employment meaning you don't have to worry about who's going to pick up the check slash get annoyed with someone's dead-end career. Everyone has got to be equally smelly at this point. And, the most important point of all, no one is leaving!

It's like Summer camp but everyone's a liberal adult and none of the counselors care what you do. it's like drama camp but everyone's an adult! know what it's really like - the Olympic Village. Did you know that during an Olympic games the athletes' village is like once giant orgy? Long distance runners hook up with soft ball players. Gymnasts hook up with divers. Long jumpers hook up with cyclists. And the swimmers all hook up with each other because they're the best looking, and they know it. (I went Summer in honor of the upcoming games).

And see just like Occupy Wall Street, it works because they're all intense, committed athletes. They all share the same passions for their individual sport. They all believe in winning for their country (read: themselves). And just like the denizens of Zuccotti Park - they're all jammed together in one, contained space!

I think it's only fair for the people of this protest to spend a little time attending to their own needs during their time of selflessness. After all, what could be more beautiful (or efficient) than finding love in this time of frustration and activism?

...And, frankly, how else are we going to fill the commemorative TIME magazine issue on the Occupy Wall Street events of 2011 than with a photo gallery of Occupy Wall Street weddings and babies?

p.s. please note and commend the fact that I got through this entire post without making the painfully obvious "occupy each other" joke. It took a lot.

Hey Occupiers: if you have a story of love found in the protesting fray, post it here in comments! Or Tweet it to me @20Nothings #OccupyLove

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