Friday, February 26, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
- video content - and
- perspectives other than my own
- digital video content is a compelling part of any modern online experience - and
- I'm one person - albei-her with the personality issues of three to five people depending on the hour slash outfit, but even that's far too few to claim knowledge of what goes on for us all
- What's the one thing you need most right now and why? (i.e. 5K, a boyfriend, your parent's support, a job)
- If you could change one thing about being this age, what would it be? (i.e. how much dating sucks, that people don't take you seriously, that everyone thinks you should be having a quarter-life crisis)
- How will you know when you've made it? (this one's on you...)
- What do you love about where we are in life? (i.e. the endless possibilities, the fact that we're still not really responsible, that none of my...right...your friends are married)
- If you got 5-minutes on Oprah, what would you tell the world? (something wise would be logical, but I'll take sales pitches and rants too)
Create one. Get it into AVI, MPEG, QuickTime, Real, or Windows Media format, 100 MB maximum size. And email it to 20Nothings@gmail.com, toot sweet. (note - no dash in that address). If the file is particularly large you can use yousendit.com to email (thanks Garrett!)
And as a thank you for making it so I don't have to quit my job and risk several potential car accidents, I'll send you a 20-Nothings symbol print (yes, that's what I'm calling this now):
Keep it somewhere within reach so you can flip the nothing little figure from the bottom of the world the top whenever your mood...or your life so strikes (wink).
Monday, February 22, 2010
- Girl macks it to one of my strongest contenders for if-we're-both-still-single-at-40, I feel anger, and now I identify that anger as jealousy.
- Some co-worker who doesn't deserve a raise gets that raise while I continue to wait in a line, which is really more of a cluster of people in a dark corner, I feel frustration, and I know that frustration is rooted in feeling under-appreciated.
- Mom calls at 9am on a Saturday to ask how she can post something to her Facebook wall that everyone but some teacher friend can see because, "she might not think it's funny" I feel annoyed, but I know that's really just unconditional love...
- 10:43pm: Oh good I think I am aging-in-the-face at a pace on par with my female peers
- 11:07pm: No way! they all live here? Why in the world have we not been hanging out for the past half-a-decade? Oooh, did they just never like me?
- 11:10pm: Sooo, the other ten people in this conversation have a masters degree or above...
- 12:03am: Wow - you just moved out of your parents house?! Oh. And into a two bedroom apartment with your fiance...that you bought.
- 12:35am: Could this be the highest concentration of eligible men I've encountered since leaving college? Could this thus mean I blew any/all chance of getting one of them to marry me?
- 1:15am: I can never leave the East Coast, these people are all too much a part of my history!
- 1:16am: So-help-me-god if I am still having this same conversation five more years from now...I should probably move...
- 1:30am: If that DJ-who-looks-uncannily-like-an-urban-Rumplestiltskin announced that we all had to line up from least to most money in our savings accounts, how many people would join me in the "does your 401K money count?" question...
- 1:55am: KRISTIN! That's her name!
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
As over-advertised, The Hook-up Conversations - my collection of 12 dating-themed monologues - were performed on Valentine's Day eve. The night turned out to be a huge success - bigger audience that we ever imagined and the type of crowd energy that can make an actor absolutely nail a performance. All of them did.
It goes without saying that a lot of work went into producing the event on the part of everyone involved. Any art is an investment and theater is one of the group-effort variety - time, money, energy - and that's all before the weird-to-define investment of self. Performing before an audience of your peers about a topic specific to your peers takes balls. You have to love and believe in it more than you care about being judged for it, and you have to be prepared to be judged for it even if it's 100% believable. You have to let go of controlling what people think of you, and that's not a gut instinct - it's barely even a learnable instinct.
Same goes for writing and presenting the pieces. Even as people were responding with laughs and silences in all the right places - an awkward live picking up of what I'd put down - I was stuck in shit-what-if-they-think-it's-dumb mode. What if it's not relatable? What if it isn't funny? What if all they're thinking is, "did this all really happen to this girl?!" or "who does this girl think she is?" or, "this is all so over-the-top."
All those fears are rooted in the fact that this kind of art - like all kinds - is you inviting that potential reaction - you putting yourself out there to be judged and evaluated. You saying to a group of who-knows-how-many - here's a sampling of the most personal stuff that goes on inside my brain; go ahead and tell me what you think of it while I stand here in the corner. Yes, the hope is for it to be enjoyed - for people to learn something, gain something, be in some way affected by what your work is saying, but you can't control that. You have to believe in what you hope to accomplish more than you care about maybe not accomplishing it.
(cue Danny-teaches-one-of-the-Tanner-girls-an-important-lesson music).
My Mom message is that it's worth it.
You cannot know what will come back at you when you stand up and say, "look, this is something I think/believe/see/wonder about and want you to see too."
My point is that the "it's worth it" isn't about it succeeding. It isn't worth it because of the potential win. It isn't about how good it feels when people clap for you and tell you they loved it. All of that is fantastic and plays its own role in why people go through all this crazy risk.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
The Hook-up Conversations is a party-meets-performance - a collection of 12, five-minute monologues about the sometimes-hysterical, sometimes heart-breaking issues surrounding dating, hooking up, and breaking up as a 20 to 30-something. Monologues will be performed as staged-readings by up-and-coming New York talent.
Monday, February 8, 2010
- "I don't need someone to give back everything I'm giving - the problem was she was uncomfortable with my being a giver - she'd always tell me to stop, but that's who I am - how I'm always going to be."
- "Gay guys know other guys are gay because of the two-look look - look, pause, look again, gay. That simple."
- "I tried so hard to be a lesbian - I mean I really tried - but I just can't do it."
- "People aren't using this yet, like no one really says it, but I'm trying to work it in - the idea of 'The Dance' versus 'The Game' you know? The Game is like, well it's only been 2 days so there's no way I'm going to reach out to him because he needs to make the first move and blah blah but The Dance is more - well - I guess it's less rules and more just slowly revealing how you feel. I think people want The Dance and hate The Game."
In my mind The Game is like this expectations stand-off between two people who are both trying to maintain the upper hand. To play, you have to know the rules; you have to follow the "the way it goes" process.
Neither is going to make the first move first. Neither is going to call before the requisite three days. Neither would ever respond to an e-mail immediately because both are playing it as cool as possible sos not to give the other any edge. He'll text her, "what's up?" - she'll wait at least two hours to respond, if not more. She'll invite him to a party, he'll show up with some other girl who's, "just a friend." They'll go on one, two, three dates but still flirt openly with other people, in front of each other.
The bottom line of The Game is that it's a series of tests: how much does he care? how serious is she? how hurt could I get? And - and here's the crux of the difference between the game and the dance - 9 times out of 10 at least one player in the game is doing just that - playing. They're playing it for the hook-up, the something-is-better-than-nothing position, the fact that they started and now feel too bad to stop. Bottom line - they're not intending for whatever they're playing to end in a relationship.
The way Evangeline described it, "the dance" is less calculating - far less stand-off-ish. You do the dance because you're protecting yourself, sure, but you know how you feel, and you know what you want - and what you want is him slash her. I feel like if you had to attach a feeling or emotion to the dance it would be intrigue or mystery... whereas when it's the game it's annoying, confusing, frustrating. Mean girls play games - coy girls who know playing a little hard-to-get is part of the attraction, dance the dance.