My theory about the way our attraction works is that if a guy or girl is too nice, it makes them seem like they have very little experience with the opposite sex and the world. When I meet a girl who's too agreeable, I think to myself, "This girl's never failed or struggled or truly been hurt. I can't really relate to her."
What about the thought that women want to feel special? A nice guy is nice to everyone, whereas to win an "edgy" guy's affection is a real accomplishment and something that he is not giving to every person who passes by.
The big thing i have noticed with nice guys is that they lack the backbone to make a move. I'm sorry if i am sitting on your couch drinking a beer and you have the urge to kiss me- do it. Otherwise, i'm going to assume you don't have the balls to date me.
Not my best quality, but the truth that I've realized over the years. I need a bit of a challenge from my guy or I'll get bored. This is not to say I want an asshole who's mean, just someone who says "no" once in a while and tells me when I'm being selfish/bratty/unreasonable. I need someone to push back (but in a nice way).
You don't really know how to flirt with me, you only know how to be my friend. Which is fine as long as we're talking football and movies, but doesn't make me go, hmmm, I would like to kiss you now. Or I would like you to kiss me now. Sexual tension is non-negotiable.
actually have a friend, who is a optimal "nice guy", but I have no attraction to him at all. A girl would be lucky to have him, but I just can't. Not edgy enough for me. It's a double edged sword, I think us ladies just don't really know what we want.
Speaking as a "nice guy" and from past relationships the things that have killed the potential for a relationship and consequently allowed for a relationship to happen was WORRY.....I have to say that crying about how "nice" you are is going to get you nowhere. Cause it sure as hell aint' getting me anywhere.
I don't date 'nice' guys, but I only date 'good' guys. That means he can be counted on, is honest, and is decent and kind. He doesn't leave me wondering where I stand with him- but if a guy starts pulling out all the stops before he really knows me I tend to think it has more to do with his need to 'catch' me than a genuine interest.
It’s not about just being a nice guy:
Nice guys who have a tendency to complain about finishing last need to remember that 1) not all girls want nice guys in the first place, but more importantly 2) you are not the only nice guy out there- in truth there are plenty of guys who aren't only nice, but probably more confident, interesting, attractive, etc. (And it's no coincidence that you will rarely hear those guys complain about their niceness being held against them).
I think sometimes dating lingo mis-defines "nice." I have been on dates with a few self-proclaimed nice guys who were, in fact, nice guys, but nonetheless could be described as "too nice" in dating parlance because they were too clingy, and somehow in dating parlance, clingy guys = nice guys. Think about it - if a girl is clingy, she's neurotic - if a guy engages in clingy behavior (calling all the time, wanting to spend every moment together, dropping the rest of his life for a girl), he's considered "nice." Just like I don't want a bad boy, I also don't want a clingy guy.
I think the issue at hand is that "nice" is actually a code word. For me, in my group of friends, "nice" is code for "boring." Because perhaps someone is kind, perhaps they're generous, or selfless, or dedicated to some interesting charity, but if you're reaching for the word "nice" to describe that person, chances are it's because none of those qualities rise to the surface to distinguish themselves because that person is actually boring.