Every once in awhile I hear/read something about the dating world that makes me go "wait, what? shit..." Like when I found out from Chris that an astounding number of people don't count sex halvsies. Or when Patti Stanger said almost all guys prefer girls with straight hair.
The latest came via the tweet of a friend whose name I didn't have time to ask permission to publish: If last night taught me anything, it taught me there's virtually no downside to the "I'm a first grade teacher" lie.
I know - wait, what?!
My gut said naah, my first-grade teacher friends don't have more success meeting guys than I do! Then I remembered I don't have any first-grade teacher friends in the city and what few acquaintances I have in not-the-city are already married. Enter: shit!
Are guys universally intrigued/attracted to a first-grade teacher girl? May as well insert K-12 in there while we're at it. Is there something about what that girl does/represents that equals jackpot to a man-in-search? She's caring. She's patient. She's devoted to children. She has a solid and respectable career but not one she's going to up-and-move-to-LA for (or, you know, wherever...). She's on a secure track with defined growth.
It doesn't not make sense...
But of course this begs the terrifying question - if there are jobs guys are attracted to then are there jobs they're not? If a first-grade teacher is sweet, giving, and motherly then is a lady i-banker cold, ruthless, career-obsessed? What about an artist? An aspiring tv producer? A writer... If broad cultural stereotypes go one way, then don't they also go the other?
And, to ask the even scarier question - do the jobs that attract a guy translate to the characteristics most guys are looking for in a partner? Yes, first-grade teacher equals kind, sweet, giving, organized, patient but is it really about good mother, convenient work schedule, stable career path? A career as a teacher doesn't have the kind of crooked road or unsure pay scale as, say, someone in the film or advertising industries. It features enrichment and many potential higher degrees (supervisor, administrator, superintendent...) but it's probably not going to prompt a woman to sit her husband down for the, "honey, we need to move to Chicago for my career" conversation. Is that what's attractive? Or is it just the old I-had-a-crush-in-my-first-grade-teacher transference?
If you're reading judgement over the choice to be a teacher in this post, you're reading wrong. My point isn't that teachers are simpler and that's why guys like them. There is nothing simple about being a teacher; a fact my mother - the kind of teacher who puts more time and energy into her work than many CEOs do their entire business - has taught me.
My question is, what does a guy think when he says, "oh, you teach first-grade?..." Hot? Smart? Solid? Excellent wife material?
And, since I'm obviously not fooling anyone at this point anyway, what does a guy think when a girl says, "well I work in media doing integrated marketing programs but really I'm an aspiring writer..."