And so in a 20-Nothings first (and maybe last) I will challenge the several comments that suggest I was way too hard on the guy from this story.
(I already regret this.)
You're being too hard on him. He assumed the third date rule was in effect, you welched.
What is the third date rule? That I go home with him? If so, who wrote this rule and are they on The Facebook?
He might be too ashamed to make contact again given the way you reacted and the short time he's known you.
Right. So then we’re at a cross-roads here aren’t we. If he’s too ashamed and embarrassed to call then that leaves us with me calling, and I can’t figure out what I’d say that wouldn’t sound like, “Hi, I’m calling because you’re not man enough to call, but I want to give you another chance because I believe you were just very drunk and forgot your manners and chances are you’ll never do that again because you actually respect me very much.” Would you recommend your little sister make that call?
I think your standards are a little too high here.
Is expecting a 25–year-old guy to not argue with me Like. A. Child. because I don’t want to go home with him after one date too high a standard? God I hope not, but if it is then yes mine are too high and yours are way too low.
There are just a lot of things guys have to do right, and it can be very challenging to hit them all on the long path towards winning your affection.
Acknowledged, but NOT doing what this guy did doesn’t seem like it should make that list of things too challenging to hit along the path of winning my affection. When a girl presents a very valid reasons why she isn't going home with you don't argue with her for many embarrassing minutes and you'll be that much further down the long path.
If you look at the exchange, you'll notice that you never gave him any indication that you wanted to go home with him. Perhaps if you had started one of your refusals with "I would love to go home with you, but..." it would have given him the reassurance that he was on the right track with you, but it just wasn't going to happen that night mostly because of logistical reasons.
Right -- I can see how that would have made him feel better about himself, but see I wouldn’t have loved to have gone home with him. I didn’t actually want to at all – for both logistical and personal reasons. I don’t think I should have to have loved to go home with him.
More importantly, I realize that to him my refusal maybe read , “uh oh, this girl might not be into me”, but to me his insistence read, “this guy just wants to fuck me.” Which is worse?
You're underestimating the absolute destruction that occurs in the man's brain when the "getting laid" rug is pulled out from underneath him.
Yep - I know. I could tell by the way the exchange went that it had maybe 10% to do with him being self-conscious about whether or not my “no” meant I didn’t like him and 100% (yeah, I know) to do with him being pissed he wasn’t going to get laid.
And finally: Can we get an epilogue on this? Did you ever talk to him again??
Nope. He didn’t call me, and I didn't want to call him.