Thanks to all who helped with stories and info for my Marie Claire piece. The article is live!
By Jessie Rosen
Ask someone if they know anyone who's given up on hooking up and they'll say, "what do you mean?!"
As a generation of 20-somethings (some in their teens and 30s...), we've come to famously mark the start of a relationship—whether it moves beyond that or not—with a sexual act—a "hook-up." Sometimes that means actual sex, but everyone's definition is different ("I define hooking up as beyond kissing. Usually some nudity and general "handsy-ness is involved." said Lisa Lenner, a 25-year-old, LA-based entertainment assistant).
But within the dominant sexually-casual culture of "generation me" is a group of people who said, "sure—me—I've given up on hooking up." They're easier to find than you'd think and, maybe not surprisingly, their reasons for saying "no" are far clearer than most people's reasons for saying "yes." They used to hook up—some of them chronically - but now they've decided they want out of the game.
They forfeit but in their opinion, they win. Here are three of their stories.